Consumption

Recently I’ve noticed something quite troubling in my life. Working to take in information (reading) or working to create (writing, drawing, even just using a drawing app on my phone!) takes much more energy than it did when I was younger. When writing, the brain power required drains me of energy after about an hour. When reading, I don’t tend to last even that long.

Yet I will listen for hours. I’ll listen to a short, 4-6 hour audio book, in a day or two. I’ll listen to my chronological Bible reading plan much more willingly than I’ll read it. I even find myself trying to find audio of textbooks so that I can listen while I read. Apparently, I think this will help me focus.

Because that’s what it comes down to—focus.

Tonight, when presented with reading in a textbook or watching a video for the same class, I choose to watch the video. Not because it was any more exciting, but because I just wanted to sit passively and receive rather than work and process to understand information.

I consume an ugly amount of media. I enjoy crime shows, I constantly have YouTube playing in the background unless I’m trying to read, I listen to audio books at least every other day, and music is a constant companion. In the age of internet and instant access to obscene amounts of media—useful and useless—I’ve lost my ability to focus on something for more than about 15-30 minutes.

When I was younger, I’d read for hours on end. Or I’d write for an hour or more. Today? I sit down to read a book for fun maybe once a week. I’ve read all of one book in the month of January, and I started that book in December. I’ve noticed this disturbing trend this month because one of my goals this year is to read more books. Specifically, I want to read through the Bible, read the Harry Potter series, and read a mermaid saga gifted to me years ago I have yet to finish. I’d like to read the Inheritance Cycle, but that’s a bit of a daunting task and may be best suited as a goal in and of itself next year.

When it comes to my writing, I find myself wishing my story were already written in front of me. I sit and watch it all play out in my head, but unless randomly motivated the putting of words “on paper” (or in a document) feels like trying to push a rolling stone uphill.

For the next four weeks, I’m going to attempt a new schedule. I want to read for 30 min 3 times a week at the least. The same for writing and studying Habakkuk (a study I’m doing with a group of girls). I’m hoping that these 30 minute sessions will last longer, and if they don’t, I still got 30 minutes!

I’ll post again next week, and share the progress that I’ve made. I’m wondering when will be the best time to schedule these, and hoping to figure it out within the next week or two. Because these things need to be a priority.

Reading my Bible, reading to retrain my brain, and working on my life’s goal. These things are FAR more important than taking in YouTube videos!