Dear Mamma/My Day With You

Dear Mamma,

Today marks eleven years since we said “see ya later”. I’ve lived longer on this earth without you than with you. It’s a mind blowing and heartbreaking realization. I’ve learned so much from you, both in life and in memory.

You taught me what it means to live for Christ. Your life full of serving Him through serving your children and “your kids” in your youth group. Watching you put time into preparing lessons for them taught me the importance of teaching others. Reading your journals taught me the importance of daily prayer and quiet time with Christ.Your life, while not perfect, was a light pointing to the Savior that you loved so much. Your prayers for us to come to know Him a testimony to your complete faith. 

Your memory is no longer infused into the places I walk on a daily basis, for Springfield is a place you never lived. But it’s infused in the pages of your journals, and in the Bible you marked up just for me.

I no longer feel the pain of missing you every day, but it’s there in the background with each milestone one of us reaches. It’s there on the bad days, when I just want to hear your voice again. When I wish we could share a conversation about life now that I’m older.

I miss you. It may not be a sharp, daily pain anymore, but it’s there. I know that I’ll see you again one day, that we’ll be joined in glory not as Mother and Daughter, but as Sisters in Christ. As the world gets worse and worse, I find myself longing for that day more and more often.

One day soon, I’ll see your beautiful face again ❤️