His Total Sovereignty > My Totaled Car

2/21/19

The concept of God’s total sovereignty is one that is so hard to grasp. Yet, as I was running late on Thursday morning it was something that I was thinking about. As I was rushing around trying to get ready-frustrated at myself for oversleeping-I wondered if there was a reason. Between waking up late and having to gather props for a rehearsal that night, I was fifteen minutes behind when I finally left. As I drove to work, I wondered if this was one of those things where God makes you late to protect you from an accident or something. This, however, wasn’t exactly the case.

When I was a little over halfway to work, waiting to turn at a stoplight, my small Toyota Echo was hit by a large Jeep. The driver thought I was going when I’d decided to wait for one more car. At first, I was shocked. It took me a moment to even breathe as I tried to take stock of the information surrounding me. My car was dinging, I thought a couple of things might be blinking, and when I tried to pull to the side it wouldn’t move.

Not good.

I got out of the car, petrified, and reported to the driver of the Jeep that I couldn’t get my car to move. She got out of her car, we exchanged insurance information. We were about to call the police when someone from the Greene County Sheriffs Office pulled up behind us. He called the Springfield Police Department, and a few minutes later we discovered how to reset the failsafe that had been activated in my car. We moved to the parking lot of a gas station right by the stoplight, and waited for the other officer to arrive.

He took our information, made sure we were okay, and filled out the police report. Shortly thereafter my dad arrived, the other driver was allowed to leave, and I was able to get my car home. I called into work, explained the situation, and laid on my bed in shock. Physically exhausted, emotionally drained, and so confused that a few minutes of chaos could leave me feeling this way.

It took me the entire morning to finish getting all my stuff out of my car because I’d bring something in and sit down...and then sit. I was waiting for the breakdown. The tears, the stress, the anxiety. But it never came.

Yes yes, there was a moment of tears while waiting for the officer to finish his report, and another moment as soon as I pulled into my own driveway. But those were the only tears shed. Aside from the unexplained exhaustion, I felt only an overwhelming sense of peace. I was able to look back on everything and see God’s hand of blessing on each and every moment.

1) the Jeep didn’t push my car into oncoming traffic

2) we didn’t have to call the police, an officer came up behind us and called it in

3) didn’t have to call a tow truck

4) I was able to get my car out of the way of traffic

5) the officer who showed up later was someone that I knew; a familiar face when I was surrounded by strangers

6) I didn’t have a panic attack

7) I wasn’t afraid to get back behind the wheel

8) I am blessed to have a job with understanding leaders—my calling in did not count against me

9) we made it home safe, and got more from the totaled car than we were expecting

10) we were provided with a rental car for a week while we figured things out—at no charge to us

For the past two weeks, I've been without my own car. At first, we had the rental, and I drove my dad's car. But after that...well, let's say it's been a humbling experience. Yet, some good has come out of it. Previously, it's been difficult for me to ride in the passenger seat of a car. It still is, a bit, but it's getting better. I was able to spend some time with a good friend whom I rarely get to visit with when she agreed to take me home from work one day. I've gotten to spend time with my dad and my grandmother that I wouldn't normally get to spend. But, most importantly, I've realized that there has been more growth in my walk with Christ recently than I had realized.

Last year, if I was without a car, I would've completely broken down. I'd just started a new job and the difficulty in riding with others was at an all-time high. Instead of being able to relax a bit over spring break, I would've spent the entire week stressing out. But that wasn't the case. Was it a humbling week, relying on others to get me around when I'm used to being semi-independent? Absolutely. But, I wouldn't change the growth I've noticed and experienced this week for anything...even for a brand new car.

(I will be getting a new-to-me car within the next couple of days, and hopefully, this one lasts me a while! But, it's all in God's timing!)

UPDATE:

Meet Rizzoli, AKA Rizz