Me, and the fantasy version of myself

I want to be a good writer.

I want to be good at my job.

I want to be a good sister.

I want to be a good daughter.

I want to be a good friend.

I want to be the “good Christian” girl we all aspire to be in the daylight, but convince ourselves we are not in the dark.

I want to be the girl who is organized, clean, tidy. Who never comes home to a mess left that morning (or the night before).

I want to have a routine that’s set in stone, where I get up at the same time every day. Dedicate this much time to my Bible reading, this much time to prayer, this much time to getting ready, and this much time to writing.

I want to appear as though I “have my life together.”

I want to feel that way too.

Let’s be real, there are a lot of things that we want to be and want to do. In a perfect world, in a perfect environment, with unlimited energy and endless motivation. Yeah, right. That’s not going to happen.

So, now what?

You prioritize. You take the things that you want to be important and you put them above things that aren’t.

You prioritize reading your Bible over those last 15-20 minutes of “sleep” (ie. laying in bed daydreaming about sleep, let’s just be honest).

You prioritize writing over spending time on social media. (This is incredibly hard for someone who does a good chunk of their writing on the go and thus on their phone)

You prioratize putting your family and friends first (sometimes, even over your writing. *GASP* yeah, I know. But it’s important.)

You make time, even just five or ten minutes, to pick up after yourself at the end of the day or when you first wake up. You take the two extra seconds to put things where they belong rather than throwing them on the floor.

A lot of this sounds easy, it sounds like common sense, but they are hard changes to make. It’s hard to sacrifice those last few moments of rest. It’s hard to put away social media and focus on writing when the whole world is literally at your fingertips. It’s hard to put family first when you’re tired and all you want to do is be alone. It’s hard to take the time to put things away when you’re in a rush.

But the layoff of these things?

Fantastic.

So yeah. There’s the fantasy version of myself, where all my priorities are in order and I have perfect motivation to keep up with them. And then there’s me. The me who still sleeps in most days. Who’s bedroom is literally a disaster zone, who snaps at her family or hides away in her bedroom. But I’m working towards being better. I’m working towards all of these goals. And it’s not easy, and it requires more motivation/energy than I usually want to muster. But following these priorities will help me get closer to my dream version of myself.